jeunesse’s Stuff!

  
I have finally succombed to the fact that Im past my twenties, I had the most wonderful 30 years of my life so far..not so perfect, tainted with challenges and some years decorated with blissfulness and colorful experiences.  To many, 30 is yet another number..to me being 30 has been the pinnacle of my married life, career, and my ultimate being as a woman.  The experiences I had in the past, has molded me for who I am today.  I am deeply thankful and blessed and still counting on my blessings day after day. 

To the friends I have, acquaintances I have met along the way, and the family that allowed me to be who I am…I owe it all to you.  Without, everyone’s role..I would be half of the whole package I am right now. 

And now, to my son who I have waited for quite sometime..you truly are an amazing gift.  You have already changed my life more than you’ll ever know.  God’s gift of life has remarkably made a difference, and this new found journey of motherhood, has only made my life purpose complete…With this, I cannot ask for anything more.

Truly, another path has emerged.  Not only will I loose count of my age after this birthday, but also I’ve come to realize…that 30 will be my ”virtual-imaginary, life long age”.  Hitting 30 made me  stronger, better, fiercer, and happier..did I mention sexier?

as what Coco Chanel says “A woman has the age she deserves.”  For me..I’ll just stick to being 30..no ifs and buts after!

As previously tagged by my infamous cousin Cheryl, thought I’d gladly respond to it and give this blog page a boost!

1.)  I was once skinny growing up, until after I got married, my body developed some unexpected curves which gave me an "African butt" so to speak.  My metabolism was whacked up when I was growing up, and got teased with my skinny legs and barb wires in my mouth.  (luckily not so much with the barb wires–"Braces" were the in thing!)

2.) During my college years in nursing school, I would know when the "ladies" nights are in the clubs… It would be nice to think that I was studious with my studies.  Fortunately, I knew how to cover up and BS through my answers when being asked the next day by my instructor.  I spent majority of my college years with an average of 2-3 hrs sleep a night, sometimes taking a nap after clubbing and going to school after.  But hey, I survived it all..

3.) Living in Las Vegas made me sick.  Aside from the excellent shopping bargains and selections, I became deprived of out door air and my body learned to compensate on living with an AC 24/7.  Aside from having a melted left shoe hill walking in the strip in a 100+ temperature, I developed a strong inclination to hibernate in the summer and activate in the winter. 

4.)  I am a scorpion and yes I do sting.  My husband was thrown aback when he found out that I am a scorpion and he is a libra when we were still dating.  We’re like oil and water at times, however we do find some humor to our disagreements.  I find that meeting half-way is sometimes the best way to go..as long as it involves some "friendly" competition.  Whatever the game is, scrabble or air hockey, I seem to always "kick his butt".  Hence, my husband is compelled to do tasks, based on loosing his proposed game and acknowleding the rewards of being a winner on very odd and few occassions. 

5.) I am such an adrenaline junkie or adventure lover.  I have paraglided over the mexican shores, jet skiid with a kids vest (and not knowing how to swim) accross the island of mazatlan, mexico (and got my jet ski toppled over..(I would do it again in a hearbeat, with thoughts that I almost drowned the last time.) I went to a water rafting trip with my husband on our first year anniversary.  I’ve driven to the wilderness with a bear literally a bumper inch in front of my car.  (this was literally up close to a grizzly bear and a cub, next to being an arm reach when we went water rafting).  I would like to one day jump off a plane with a parachute, complete a bungee jumping, and hopefully connquer my fear of heights doing a few stints of snow boarding and the like.

6.) As stated on number 5, I must admit that despite of all the rush to do such adventure, It is ironic to say that I am afraid of heights.  My knees buckle when I look down from a top floor  of a building.  I cringe and yet still continue to gaze down, as displayed by my liking of riding the notorious roller coasters in 6 flags and going through a bunch of sky high water slides by my self!   Despite of being self diagnosed as acrophobic, I am also clastrophobic and could not stand being in elevators.  I could only last for a few minutes of riding it for the purpose of going to my destination, however the thought of being stuck kills me!  I recently got stucked in an elevator with 10 people for almost half an hour and I have seen the worse of my anxiety.  I had to initiate to call 911 myself, my husband could not do anything despite of attempts of pulling a James Bond.  I was able to free myself from anxiety after seeing the fireman that saved us!!! (Kudos to Syl and Kris for the impromptu touch up!heheh).

7.)And finally, I have to devote this section to my BFF—despite the disagreements and typical marriage conflicts…I cannot imagine myself making it through the way I am right now without my BFF…his OCD traits compliments the stubborn side in me.  His liking for kids and obsession for my dog adores me.  It baffles me how oil and water do mix…for some reason, they just do.

*Cher-who do i tag this on???

   2 words that are sometimes taken forgranted, but both meanings when said create an instant gratification to one’s day.  Saying "please" not only presents polite and curt, saying "please" tends to be the most repetative and overused word with asking favors directions and the like and yet, its meaning flags an instantanious essence of being honored and respected despite how big or small a request may seem to be. 

   Saying thank you seem to do just the trick for more favors and requests that need to be accomplished.  And yet, the word ‘thank you’ may also  appear to be overused and abused when the requests are always directed to one’s continuous gain and compensation.  Thank you does not mean "thank you" in its true form when the favor that was done was completed in a heartless task.  Someone may seem to be saying it just for the heck of it, with an almost sarcastic manner… So as a result, to say thank you in that situation, would really mean "no thank you at all". 

   My job entails a lot of pleases and thank you’s…as the pleases are used for a few requests, a need to genuinely say thank you would just be an icing on the cake.  It is hard for me to fully appreciate a "thank you" and place it in my cake, when the person thanking me is not at all genuine. 

   Last week, my preception of receiving thank you changed. This is all what matters to me after working on a complicated social and nursing case…how many heartful thank you’s have I actually received?  The odd part is I have received this in a most unexpected way.  Not only was I caught off guard, but indeed was amazed on how one can truly assert it when they actually do mean it.

    A young guy came up to my office unscheduled and said "Jeunesse I need your help, I am filthy, haven’t had the shower in days, have been sleeping in the front lawn, using the washrooms accross my home (in the mall), I am locked out of the house by my Landlord (who I think is very devious!) and have no access to clean clothes.  This lad has succombed to drugs and have failed to show up on a few of our therapy sessions… (I was sceptic about giving my generous help to this client because of his lifestyle choice of repeated drug use) And yet, something twicked in my inner soul…what if this was my brother (sorry jake!) would I be able to handle dismissing his plea?  I did what I had to do, few calls to a few offices, access to emergency fund…a recreation pass to gain access to a public shower (for his hygiene), a schedule for foodbank, and assigning him to a community worker for housing support….  and yes, this all led to a genuine and whole hearted "Thank you" from someone, who I was sceptic to provide services in the beginning…

A young guy like him can leave a brute, devious, coniving, scandalous impression in the surface.  And yet his manners of showing appreciation is proven to exude, when needed and when appropriately called for.  It only goes to show that saying please and thank you only calls for a moment, but the results of feeling acknowledged and appreciated are prolonged.

Its been a while  since I have actually posted a blog in here…I  must admit I have been enticed with a new website called facebook and have been outrageously busy the past few months.  It is hard to believe that almost half of the summer is gone and more than half of the year has passed.  I have been preoccupied with a nursing clinician course that is bound to be finished this December.  My work has been extremely busy, taking care of the volatile cases and helping people get their hopes back from drug addicts, potential home and property loss, mending relationships and the like.  I would like to think that I "sorta" could save the world, but even knowing that is more than enough to make a difference to other people in need. 

Jeff and I have reconciled from the "tragic" and challenging US economic loss and finally have settled in to being "Vancouverites" so to speak. We promised ourselves that Vegas would just be our "regular shopping stop".  Furthermore, We have been busy being involved with civic groups, attending various gatherings and have been thankful for the regular friends and company we see on weekends.  We have been graced with short stay visits from our Mexican and Japanese student, and have been their mentors with their english course. Our summer has kept us on our toes as we embark on facing Jeff’s documents of being a permanent american citizen residing in Canada.

By this coming fall, we plan to get some time to ourselves, hopefully visit Jeff’s family in Maryland, and get the Opportunity to visit the "Big Apple".  As always, we are hoping to get our "ducks in the row" and pray that everything goes well with our work, business, family , relationships and health.  We intend to sell our current home and hopefully move to a home with sufficient space for Jeff’s  potential German Shepherd as "Chelsea" has been legally blind for the past few months.  Still debating whether we would keep our current home and manage to find a renter with OCD–with some preference into cleanliness! (aka as being anal cleaners!).

Hopefully I would be able to keep up with this  "blogging world", I hate to be kept off the loop…so to all my dear readers, keep me posted, Im just around the corner, just being extremely stubborn and busy these days.

     After a couple of trips here and there, a multitude of family festivities, feasting in Philippines, wine and dine in Vegas, various opportunities of restaurant hopping, entertaining guests, parties galore every weekend—I’ve finally come to a realization that I would have to catch up on rigorous work-out and gym routine.  Im finally bringing sexy back!!! Im so fortunate that my gym is just seconds away from my office (literally a 1 second walk, downstairs of the building-I should have done this long time ago, I’ve got a bad habit of procrastinating!).  I’ve finally pushed myself and garnered enough guts and motivation to get back to my usual routine.  As the saying goes "no pain, no gain!"

   Filipino festivities are notorious for serving along a never ending platter of food.  It is sometimes difficult to resist when the temptation in your head lingers, telling you that…..   "oh this bing eating doesn’t happen too often" and before you know it, another aquaintance invites you again to another party.  For some people, their metabolism must have been so way off compared to mine.  I envy my bestfriend for having such a body built for pre-pubescent stage.  And yet not to mention, she also just gave birth and went back to her normal size.   Kudos to her!   

    With the summer fast approaching and the beach volleyball season calling me, I have yet to venture the gym, and face the crowd of people fighting for the last treadmill left!  I will be no Pam Anderson–but watch out J. Timberlake, I’ll show you what sexy is all about!!

   Today marks the first year of my return to Vancouver after enduring the fast paced, glamourous, and yet deserted life I had experienced in Las Vegas. Cynical as it may seem, some people die for that party atmosphere.  Some expect fast rewards from these casino slots, and to some, it is a shelter for temporary good time, a place to explore various facets of sexuality, money and greed.  For me, It was a place to find myself, and experience my first few years of married life..being away from the norm.   I can’t help but to think, where those years have gone, mingling with the "high society", getting to know my cocktails, and brushing shoulders with the "in crowd" to mention a few, the guy who patented the silicone band for bariatric surgery (a surgical weight loss), the guy who owns a large scale manufacturing plant for breast implants, and the infamous lawyer who is an advocate for the republican party and golf course owner, in which his house was a mecca for pro-BUSH parties, and a yacht which is a dome for fishing parties for the executives only.  It was seemingly unreal to be one of the "members".  I was one of those house-wives.  I’ve reaped the benefits of attending popular concerts, first class- treatment in the bars,luncheon parties, and never ending wine and dine on top rated restaurants. I came to know the Armani’s, Gucci’s and LV’s and the Dior’s, It was good while it lasted.

   Ironically,I don’t see myself dwelling in all of these so called "lifestyle". I was quickly missing home, finding myself back more and more in California where my cousins are. What used to be a weekend visit, would last me a weekend and then some—all of them kept me sane and intact!!! I found out what life’s essential’s are, going back to nature and finding my roots, I found out who my friends are, (the people that kept me company and visited me on this whole journey, and provided me with frequent phone calls and msn notes) and most of all… I found out who I can call "my family" amidst the fork in my road. (you guys know who you are–)

…thats where it all comes down to.  Slowly but surely, I got myself back in BC where indeed my heart belongs!  Enduring the 18 hour drive to BC was quite a ride, however–Vegas is the ultimate ride in my lifetime!

   To my hubby, thanks for making it happen…and to LV may you R.I.P.

   This whole day light savings time is making me off, lagged and odd.  Coming to work today, I found myself unenergized despite entering into "stimulating" and therapeutic conversations with my clients.  I usually find them amusing and interesting, exploring the delusional systems particularly with "jane doe" a 65 year old woman,  who requested an urgent appointment with me.  My day started with her answering machine messages, telling me how she wants to be involved with this "other man" who ironically is a fragment of her imagination.  I mean give me a break now…how can you actually have sex with a man who is invisible, non existing, life less, and totally is out of this world–with some pun intended.  (unless of course for your own personal gain–you folks know what i mean..ahah)but seriously, how can I ever convince this woman that "this man" is not at all in this face of the earth! ( proven after thorough investigations back up by Docs ofcourse.)  For "jane doe" this is more a crisis, that can gradually be solved by urgent reality check.  And what am I supposed to do as her therapist??? Damn, people, I work as a therapist and not a pimp! 

    She describes her inner thoughts as seemingly real, and untainted by any false information that I have provided her.  (how rude!–then why attend my sessions then?)  It does make me wonder, now a 65 year old woman with 2 grown up children and a "boring" husband..it all makes sense, this woman is repressed, and delusional of course!!! My only hope is not to be as close as this 65 year old woman when I get to that stage…  as what that say "unleash your inner sanctum!"

   In the mean time, all I can focus on is how to get rid of my tired and sleepy eyes.  This day light savings screwed me, it also screwed the thinking and the utterly delusional materials of jane doe.  Another hopeless case!

After a approximately 8 days in Iloilo, I was ready to head on the big city.  The city of Manila it is.  Along with  my "balikbayan cousins" husband and nephew, we packed ur big luggages, suitcases, boxes and others and headed straight to the airport on a wee morning hour. It was sad leaving, nevertheless we were filled with sheer excitement to hit the big city, or return to the US for one of my cousins and his son.

Tackling the small airport in Iloilo, approximately the size of my living room was such a daunting task.  The room was filled with tired and exhausted passengers and some pissed off ones, trying to rummage through the line, behind the unsystematic ruling of the airline staff.  We were faced with conflicts and challenges, to one of which was from this girl who cuts in infront of our line, (after being there for 30 mins).  I am so astonished to her reaction, after being confronted as to why she would have the nerve to do that.  She boastfully said "I am previledged, –May gold card ako!" my cousin exlaimed "I don’t care, the principle is you have to line up!" Unfortunately, despite of such confrontation, this girl played it naively and could’nt care less to be bothered–needless to say, she chickened out after she heard us utter a few words. 

Nevertheless,  5 of us, plus 1 kid hit Manila by storm! went straight to Dencio’s and ultimately had a feast!!! it was too damn good to resist.  To diet or not to diet, that is my ultimate question…

Going to Manila, gives me a sense of anticipation, the place I so missed, established my roots, found my friends, expanded my wings and indeed became a part of what I am today..to everyone, I’m home away from home.

My three week stay in the Philippines is finally over.  I started out venturing my roots in the Visayan Island where my mother is from, went straight to Iloilo after a long and tedious flight from Vancouver, Hongkong, and Manila.  We were welcomed with gracious faces of family members, some of which to my dismay I don’t remember and oddly just gave them a hug.  This is what I get after leaving Philippines for 12+ years.  Despite of which, I was welcomed with statements such as "wow, daw si mommy mo gid ikaw" (with my illonggo accent).  On my whole stay there, people kept calling me my mom’s name, Im not too sure if this is a part of a renewed culture or people just chose to compliment me with calling me as such.  After all, it should’nt be an embarrassment on my part as my mom was indeed a pretty lass growing up,  garnering various beauty contest awards during their college years.  To my mom’s enjoyment, she was pleased with such comment, and I for the meantime, hid behind the limelight.  Our first night was celebrated with the company of long lost cousins, don-san miguel and the popular red horse!

And indeed, these Illongos can drink!!! poor unfortunate livers, of Cisco and Jeff, it took them daysss to recuperate from drinking 12 "Red Horse"

Spending a few days in Iloilo, made me realize the lifestyle I missed, I was spoiled to the assistance of numerous helpers, (the cooks, yaya mil, manong boy the driver and the lady that empties my laundry basket daily) I am always welcomed with an account of 5+ dishes for breakfast and my daily request of fresh mangoes on the table which I so missed. 

Getting to Boracay after a few days in Iloilo was long and enduring, we stopped by Tapaz, Capiz (my uncle’s mayoral town) and surpassed the rocky roads and the preconceived notion of ghost beliefs and popular stories.  Our over night stay was filled of trepedation and fear resulting from the recent ambush of his vice-mayor on top of recent ghost sightings that was believed to show up in my grandmother’s ancestral home.  During our stay, we also heard our heavy doors swing and open in the middle of the night..could it be one of the armoured body guards checking up on us, or one of the you know what???!

The very next day we headed to Boracay with our "beachy spirit"

we conquered the overpopulated roads filled with heavy trucks, vendors, animals–goat, pigs, dogs, cat, ducks and sadly crossed over one–(My heart goes to it, I won’t mention which one of these?) We ventured out the scenic scapes of rice fields, the coconut plantation and etc. We travelled by land, and water.  Stopped by popular places and treated ourselves to filipino all time faves, and the "sugba and inasal" which made the Visayan island popular for.

After all these hardship, we finally hit our destination, Boracay rocks! The commercial flair and natural ambience of Boracay, made it a place to remember. I was easily indulged with the breath taking sunset, great food, wonderful people, hospitable service, great massages, beautiful white sand and clear water..needless to say I was spoiled.  My stay in Boracay was short and sweet, somewhat "bitin" perfect enough to make me crave for more.  Next stop..social life in manila and the tagalog region of Philippines!

Waking up in the first day of 2007 holds a lot of promises for myself.  I had to brace myself with sheer determination and optimism to put a good start to the first day of 2007.  I am promising  myself that 2007 will be a better year compared to 2006. My husband and I could’nt believe that 2006 was over in a wink of an eye.  I can’t help but to be sentimental as soon as midnight of January 1st striked, I gladly raised my glass and a surpassable amount of joy just started to come over me.  Tears just started to roll and I had to gather myself, and be bold enough to accept what my year has been.  (As a few of my close friends can attest), 2006 tested my capacity to endure the worst of the worse! And even myself, can’t believe where all these bad energy came from.   I sincerely believe that things happened for a reason, and that God will never give me anything I can’ t battle–and fearlessly, Im over it!

As my first week of 2007 unravelled, I started with a very important call from the  public health administrator and had offered me the job I was waiting for.  I’ve been contemplating for quite a while to climb the ladder as a nurse clinician after a few years of serving the mental health population in a in-patient setting. I also believe that I can move on past my in-patient nursing and go on to a more specialized level of nursing care.  I gladly took that offer, and  I am  definitely looking forward to starting my new role in the next few weeks.

Moreover, I am also looking forward in leaving Canada for 3 weeks for a brief stay in the Philippines.  It was in my agenda this year to return to my roots and explore what I have missed in the past 12 years of my life.  I honestly can’t wait to complete that missing part of my past.

My first few days of 2007 leaves me with a lot of promises and answered prayers.  We’ll see what the next leg is going to be..after all, there’s 358 days left in 2007 to make it all happen!

A BLESSED NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE!